Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
