i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
