I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
