Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
