SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
