He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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