maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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