Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
