i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
