Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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