She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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