Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Less talking, more tequila
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
