so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
