so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
