I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
