You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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