so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
