I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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