your room smells of hookers.
And success
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
