we're blogging at a bar
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
