Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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