I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
