i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
