yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I need to calm my uterus...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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