Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
