It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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