I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I could fuck to npr.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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