Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
