I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
