i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
