My friends, they love my intelligence
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
