Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
