Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
