Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
