I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
