Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
