This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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