conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
