Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
