I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
