you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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