She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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