True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
