so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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