I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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