Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
