Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
