How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
