My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
His hands were made for my vagina.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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