Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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