...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
